Santa is not real, really!

Disclaimer: I didn't come up with this or even find it. One of my friends sent it to me.

IS SANTA REAL? An engineering perspective on the well-known legend

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop our of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh an move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purpose of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75« million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 time the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, the conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting the "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload -not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.


So I would suggest maybe giving a little more thought to what's really the meaning of Christmas, since it seems Santa is out of the question.
Merry Christmas!

Poor reindeer!

Arguing~~ a controversial subject

I have been noticing over the last few years (15 to be exact) that there is more then one form of arguing. Assuming we are talking about peer to peer and there is no authority involved I have come up with three styles. I will use two fictional characters (Bill and Fred) to demonstrate all three.

1. The DV style (Devil's version)
This style is very common, basically this is intentionally twisting the meaning of other's words. Also used is the years ago trick. People change, especially in their childhood. When you are three and say something, you don't expect to have to stand by it ten years later. For example:
Bill: Hey there Fred
Fred: 'sup?
Bill: I met a caveman the other day, he was weird...
Fred: are you implying that all cavemen are weird?
Bill: um... no.
Fred: yes, you are! You may not have said it but it's clearly what you meant!
Bill: no its not!
Fred: yes it is! My grandfather is a caveman, you just called him weird!
Bill: No I didn't!
Fred: yes you did, you just said that. And beside 6 years ago you said the same thing and you said "I think your grandpa is weird cuz he is a caveman"
Bill: I did not!

Clearly Bill didn't mean to insult Fred's grandfather, he was just stating a fact.

2. The HV style (the honest version)

This is how people should really argue. It involves listening to what the other person had to say and trying to figure out the true meaning. If the person is younger then don't quote him from years ago. Really only a few months should be between when he says something and you quote it back to him. Especially if it's something trivial. For example four years ago I did not like basketball at all. Now I love it. Here is the example of the HV argument.

Bill: hey ya Fred!
Fred: 'sup Bill?
Bill: I was just wondering who you think is going to win the Super Bowl ?
Fred: well the steelers defense is pretty good, but I just don't think they have the offensive power to beat the packers.
Bill: What, seriously? The steelers have the hottest offense in the league!
Fred: No, look (whips out an iPhone) the game happened yesterday, and the steelers only had 35 total yards!
Bill: who'd of known!


3. Third and finally we have the IV style. This stands for Idiots Version. Now keep in mind, you don't have to be and idiot to use this, I just named it that for reference. This is when you believe you are right yet use faulty reasoning and untrue statements that you think are true. This is the style that most often uses references from years ago that no one really remembers right anymore, and maybe isn't true anyway. Twisted meaning is common too, just accidentally you truly believe that they said something else then they actually were trying to say. Example:

Bill: Hey fred!
Fred: 'sup bill?
Bill: Do you use the longest road in the catan version cities and knights?
Fred: no, of course not!
Bill: I think you do!
Fred: no, remember last time when we played we didn't use it!
Bill: dude that was like six years ago! You can't remember that!
Fred: oh yes I can! And anyway it says so in the rules.
Bill: why don't you go check then?
Fred: no reason to... I have the rules memorized.
Bill: ok, I'll go check then... ... See here! It says you do use it!
Fred: that rule book must be wrong!
Bill: I'm leaving, good bye Fred!
Fred: good riddance. :)

All the examples in this post are factitious. Any reference to any person living or dead is purely consequential.

Comment on any errors that you find.

Signing out,
Ryan Lokkesmoe


P.S. the packers will win the super bowl

Thanksgiving

Today is thanksgiving, as some of you know, and I decided to post a small list of the things I am thankful for... (not really in order) btw, I am really tired so this might come out a little weird...

God

Jesus's sacrifice for us

God's acceptance of that sacrifice (often taken for granted)

Family

Friends

Steve Jobs

Sports

Food

Mac and Cheese

More Mac and Cheese

A bed to sleep in

A house to stay inside on cold days

The Packers

My other friends

Laughter

Sleep (and lots of it)

My church family

Singing (you never thought I would say that mom)

Amazing things

Other amazing things

Food

Wifi

Football

The incredibly luxurious lifestyle almost every American lives (even the prisoners)

Dad's job

Homeschooling

Getting an A sometimes

Weight lifting

Food

Basketball

Snow

Cold temperatures

Hot chocolate



Many other things that are evading my conscious mind right now...

Well, thanks for reading. What are you thankful for?

Slipping, the movie.

If you can't watch the movie comment and tell me so...

Funnyness is back

I haven't put any jokes on for a while so here it goes :)
Funny Puns:
I wondered why the baseball was getting  bigger, then it hit me.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

I did a theatrical performance on puns, really it was just a play on words.

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how a Mercedes bends.

Lightning sometimes shocks people because it doesn't know how to conduct its self.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is a period, it marks the end of his sentence.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

Sleep comes so naturally to me, I can do it with my eyes closed.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bike and a nicely dressed man on a trike? A tire.

If you step in a plane and see a friend of yours named jack, don't yell Hi Jack!

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

No matter how much you push the envelope it will still be stationary.

A grenade thrown in a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents!

Sufferings and natural disasters

Tonight at Power Tower, Pastor S talked about natural disasters and earthly sufferings. Especially relating to the point: "is God in control and ordaining it to happen?" We read a passage from Luke:

13:1 There were some present at that very time who told him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. 2 And he answered them, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans, because they suffered in this way? 3 No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. 4 Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them: do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others who lived in Jerusalem? 5 No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.”

In this section some Jews come to Jesus and tell Him about a disaster that had happened, that people offering sacrifices were ruthlessly murdered by pilate. They assume that they must have committed some sin and appear to be coming to Jesus to confirm this. They were probably shocked to find that instead of agreeing with them Jesus shows them their own pride and tells them twice what they didn't want to hear. They are proud that they hadn't sinned as badly as those that died. Clearly Jesus says that this is not the case, instead he points out that they will to die in the same manner if they do not repent. This isn't saying that if you are saved life will be easy and carefree. Then he goes and says it all again! Clearly the point of natural disasters are to point out, to people, how close they are to eternity and to make them start to think. Millions of people have died as a result of seemingly purposeless storms, earthquakes, and floods but I believe that millions have been saved forever as a result of these same disasters. "For God works all things together for good for those how love Him and are called according to His purpose" this might not mean that it will be for our good on earth but for the eternal good of others. Basically its a divine wake-up call.

New Testament

I just finished the entire new testament for the first time! I started it this summer. Now I am going to start the old testament and see how long that takes :D

Secret Church

Tonight I attended a special thing called (you guessed it) Secret Church. It is basically a elongated, super speedy service similar to those Christians would have in a country where it was illegal to meet. Over 50,000 people across the globe were watching and listening as David Platt burned through five hours of study in an intense simulcast that lasted from 6 to 12 at night. It easily could have taken 18 hours if he had dwelt on the topics more, but this way we were each sent home with a 150 page book that we filled in during the course of the night. This provides hours of study afterward. Last time we studied: Crucifixion, Salvation, and the Glory of God. This time the topic was: Marriage, Family, Sex, and the Gospel... Let's just say there were a few awkward moments :D I could type for hours about both topics but instead I suggest that you sign up for the next simulcast on Good Friday. It is amazing that in this world where everyone has such a short attention span 50,000 people all watched and listened and took notes for six hours, especially when it is late at night. This time when he would get to a good point I would circle it or star it, but soon I realized that every point would be starred so I gave up... Here is the basic out line that he covered this time:
• Gospel Foundations
The Character of God
The sinfulness of man
The sufficiency of Christ
The necessity of faith
The Urgency of Eternity
• God's Design
The Gospel and sexuality
The Gospel and marriage
The Gospel and parenting
The Gospel and the orphan
The Gospel and singleness
The Gospel and the widow
• Man's Distortion
The Gospel and Divorce
The Gospel and homosexuality
The Gospel and abortion
The Gospel and polygamy
The Gospel and pornography
• Special issue
Satisfaction in marriage

Its a lot to cover but he did a great job. I hope you check out more about Secret Church!

Trip

I wrote a letter out about our trip and thought maybe someone would like to read it. It is very long and goes into a lot of detail, but enjoy :D


October 20 2011

Dear Friends,
Hello! How have you been? I decided to write a letter about the trip I went on recently, out to New York. There was five main sections: Transit in, Philadelphia, New York, Boston, and transit out. I will devote an entire paragraph to each. We visited each in that order, though there was some excitement in the middle, but you will have to wait to find out what happened!
The whole trip started at home when we picked up a 32 foot pull behind camper. It was really awesome inside and we couldn't wait to get going. That night, though we hadn't left yet, we slept in the camper, just to try it out. My bed was about two feet wide and it was a good thing I am not real big. The next morning we left bright and kinda early we got on the high way, we did not know how many hours we would be on the high way in the next few weeks. We drove all day an stopped for dinner in Chicago with Uncle Eric and Aunt Sue. To cut down on the amount of driving the next day we drove a few more hours that night and stayed at a KOA campground. The next day was a killer because we had to drive for about 10 hours. Turns out, when we stopped for lunch we lost the key to to the camper, and the doors were locked. Not really a good situation, but it could have been worse (like if we lost the car keys). Anyway, we found a lock smith and though he didn't have the blanks for a two sided key he was able to make a key for the luggage compartments, and I cloned in through a window that was unlocked. We stayed the night at a campground that we had reserved sites for months ago, so we were on schedule. When the sun again rose we went to the Gettysburg battle site and saw the field and a fancy painting. It was really cool to drive around on a place that we had been learning about for ever! We had Mac and Cheese for lunch and ate at KFC for dinner. We drove to the next campground that night and after arriving set up camp and went to bed.
Today we went to Philadelphia! We drove half and hour to the train station and rode into the city. I hate public transportation!!! I really do. The fella who ran the train was like some foreign dude who probably didn't know English and that's why dad had such a hard time taking to him. He ended up charging us 60 bucks for a round trip that normally cost 28 dollars. The conductor pointed that out and refunded us the money. We had a fairly good day in Philadelphia and saw many cool historic sites including the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. When we were in Independence Hall we suddenly were taken out side and told to stay away from buildings. Standing out side among hundreds of people, we wondered what was going on. After a couple minutes we were told it was safe to go back in the building and we finished out tour. I over heard a guard telling some one that it was an earth quake, just so small it was difficult to feel. I was ready to leave by now and we took the train back to our car. It was a good thing the train was still running, all the subways were shut down and we would have had no way back. I was not looking forward to another day in Philadelphia tomorrow. The second day was much less exciting, although it was interesting in a very similar way. When about to take a tour of the place where the first switch of presidents took place I again heard some guards talking, this time about a hurricane. I asked them about it ad they said a category III hurricane was coming to town soon. Oh boy, that sounded fun! Mom and Dad, of course, figured it was just a little storm and took no notice. Its a good thing they thought to pack me! The portable pessimist! It wasn't until they started to evacuate the city of new York that they started to take notice, but I will tell about that in the next paragraph.
On our way to New York City we toured Valley Forge. Ir was pretty cool, despite the rain. I like the country! When we just about reached the camp site that we would stay in while touring New York we received a call from the people who ran it wondering if we were still coming! They said everyone else had canceled their reservations and left early. Dad said that we were coming and they were awful surprised. They had free WiFi and we utilized it well, tracking Hurricane Irene with our iPods and iPhones. I convinced the parental units to leave earlier then we had originally planned but we still got to tour New York one day. Did I mention that I hate public transportation? Well I do... We saw the Statute of Liberty and the Island of Tears (Ellis Island). That is what it was called by the immigrants, but it wasn't that bad. Only about 2 percent of the immigrants were turned back. We ten went to Wall street and Times Square. That was really quite a site. The whole street was a giant TV! Dad purchased a apple iPad from the apple store in New York. It was so crowded in there you could hardly move! Rachel got something from the American Girl store. We went back to our campsite and got ready for evacuation. The hurricane was supposed to hit at 1-2 in the morning on Sunday. Tomorrow is Saturday so we planned to leave in the morning. It took until 10:30 for us to get going and we didn't travel very fast but we made it to a KOA in buffalo before the storm hit. It looked like a really nice site with an indoor pool and work out room, but we found out that they discriminated against kids and wouldn't let kids under 16 years old in the pool with out an adult. I did not swim. The next day we watched movies and relaxed while the wind whistled out side. It was only about 30 mph winds so nothing really happened. Then we went to Boston!
On the way to Boston we stopped at a place with thousands of water falls. Actually there were 11. We hiked a trail and saw most of them and boy was it good not to be around millions of people! After we finished there we drove to our campsite that we would be staying in while in Boston. The recent hurricane had flooded a bunch of roads and caused major traffic so on a trip that should have only taken 5 hours we drove for 12. We had a nearly fatal accident while setting up the camper: it was on a slight hill but we had chucked the wrong sides of the wheels, and while we were putting down the jacks it rolled off the supports and fell onto the jacks. If we hadn't put rocks on our side of the wheels it surly would have destroyed the hitch and probably more. In the morning we went into Boston and it really was much better then any other city. The buildings were much lower and farther apart and there was a park right by where we got off the subway. Did I mention that I don't like public transportation? We walked the liberty trail, a red line on the side walk that takes you all around Boston. It was a lot of walking but for the most part it was pretty cool. We saw a lot of historical sites in Boston like the house of Paul Revere and the battle site of bunker hill. We also went aboard the Constitution, one of the first ships in the US navy and one renowned for its battle record. It fought in 32 engagements and won every time. It is the oldest still active navel vessel in the world! The following day we saw Lexington and Concord and it was so nice to be in the country! Then we drove to see a replica Mayflower and toured a settlement that is like the one that the pilgrims founded. It was really neat because the reinactors there were highly trained to stay in character even with the most difficult tourists.
Finally we are on our way back home! We drove near Niagara falls and camped the night. The next morning we went to the falls and saw some amazing views. We enter Canada and saw the falls from the Canadian side. It was really hot that day and the mist from the falls felt nice. When we were finished with the falls we piled into the car and drove to Detroit. It was so hot that day we were worried the car would over heat. The following day we ate at a restaurant that Dad and Mom ate at a lot while in residency. We saw our old house, before Abby or I came around and much before Rachel. We were going to go to the Michigan opener but decided that it was too expensive and would skip it. We then drive our last stretch, home! When we got there we were all glad to be back, it was quite an adventure!
So to wrap up, we were gone for 15 days and in that time drove 3989 miles in 96 hours and 45 minutes! If you don't think that's a lot yet consider this not including the time when we were asleep we had about 180 hours of time. Over HALF of that was spent in the car! That's amazing! We started off with a full tank of gas ha to get many more tanks before it was through. The trip out was supposed to be about a third of our car time and ended up as maybe an seventh. New York City and Philadelphia were very big cities and I would not want to live in them. Comparatively Boston was pretty small and a nice ending to our trip. The road home was basically free of obstacles, but that can't be sati about the other parts. That was one of the longest trips I have ever taken and probably the most eventful but it was really fun and a great way to end the summer. . .

Sincerely yours,


Ryan Lokkesmoe
•2 Timothy 2:22•

Trip post #1

Today we leave. My device doesn't blog, even if I had wifi, so don't expect posts until we get back. :D I slept in the camper with Dad, Mom, and Rachel. Rachel got the bottom bunk which is three times the size of the top bunk. I have no idea how that worked out. Its going to be a great trip! Over and Out...

Posting

You may have noticed my posts kinda halted for a while in there... I got an iPod and am hardly on the computer anymore. (Safari is disabled on the iPod so I can't post from there) but, here I am now. I am gonna post some.

We just returned from a 5 day trip to... the Wisconsin/Minnesota border! Even if it wasn't extremly far away we still had great fun. I have posted some pics below to show what it was like, after all... a picture is worth a thousand words. 

 Over looking the river. The St. Croix river.

 The river. :)

 One of the potholes this place is famous for. (you don't want one this big on your street)

 A little rock that we climbed to.

 Cooking hot sandwiches and pop pies.

 Me. =)

Fishing.  

 The river.

Drew, Me, and our famous 2 foot tinfoil dinner. After we had already eaten regular diner we came back and put all the leftover food in one big tinfoil dinner and ate it.

We had a great time. 

Interstate state park canoe trip on the St. Croix

I decided to upload the pictures from Interstate State Park in two different posts: canoeing and not canoeing. 

 Drew, Jake, and I (in that order) going down the river. It seemed to be Jake and I paddling most of the time, no offense Drew. 

 Me and Drew went swimming, we were the only voluntary swimmers. 

 Getting in the canoe was hard because it was extremely tippy. Even for a canoe. 

Rachel said that she enjoyed it. 

Us swimming non-voluntarily. Thrice the canoe tipped over, once because we all leaned left at the same time, once because Drew stepped into the shallow water to get to shore and it was deeper then he thought (pictured above), and the last time we flipped it on purpose. Also once Drew fell into the river and we towed him to the other side to get him back into the boat. Canoeing was AWESOME! :)

D.C. Pics

here are some pictures that we took in DC. Grandma has spontaneous picture taking disorder (not really) and insists that I am in every picture, next to every sign or building in DC

The Vietnam Memorial

 I think you know what that is...

 The temperature (it didn't storm at all though)

 The white house.

 Iwo Jima Memorial

 Washington monument

View of the jefferson from the top of the washington

iPod!!!!!

I ordered my iPod today!!! It is a 8 gig 4th gen (newest) "used" iPod touch. 

Lighting Bugs

I went fishing with Dad today and there was literally millions of bugs, at least on the ride home. Three lightning bugs got stuck to our windshield and their lights remained on! It was really cool. Its just really hard to believe that something that perfect could evolve. On that subject I was with G and G in DC for a week, and we went to the museum of natural history. They broadcasted as fact things that were not even yet out of the hipothisinisis (I hope you know what I meant) stage. They had a big pillar that showed when things came about, first invertebrates (about 500 billion years ago) then vertebrates a little after that, then other things all the way up to humans (300 million years ago). The really sick part is people believe them with out question, most people never even consider the possibility that anything else happened. OK, I am getting a little off topic. Back to lightning bugs... Wouldn't it be great if someone could invent lightning bug energy? Totally clean, practically unlimited juice, and a cool shade of green. :)

Oh, earlier today we went over to the our pastor's house to rip out tile, it was awesome. Not the ripping of tile, but what we did afterward. I was given a metal mallet, Steven was given an hatchet, and Zach was given a hammer. And we were told to destroy a wooden doll house!!! :D:D:D it was great, it could have been accomplished much faster, and quieter maybe, but with not nearly as much enjoyment. :) 

Washington DC

See all of you later, and I won't be posting for a while... IN DC!! :D:D:D

Mega Mind

I watched Mega Mind a few days ago for the first time and I must say that it is the AWESOMSWEETEST movie ever. (btw have you ever thought about the name "movie"? its like move-y movey, yeah its weird) I love the storyline, so far beside one part where some guy says frekin' the only thing I don't like is the girl's short hair. (don't ask me why but I don't think girls should have short hair, read 1 Cor 11:1-16) and that really is not that big of a problem. I love how they got a bald blue dude to be handsome! :D

If you love Mega Mind too check "nice" :)

Shots

I tell ya, shots are way over rated. I mean, it did not hurt to get them, and it hardly hurt afterward. The crazist part about getting the shots was when the nurse stuck me with the needle I actually enjoyed it! I don't know, maybe I am just weird, but I little bit of pain is fun! 

Ortho

I had an ortho appointment today, it started out like any other one, but after they took off my old wire, they sanded down my bottom teeth (so i have gaps on the bottom now) and gave me some rubberbands to wear, this next few weeks should be FUN<> :D


Guess what? This blog is at the 300 mark! 

Last Day

This might be the last time I am on this for a few days... We are leaving for fairmount (and the weather is anything but fair there) and I don't think I will be able to post but I might. Thanks for reading the best blog in the world!!!<> :)

Daily Joke

I normally don't do blonde jokes, but I thought that this was hilarious :)

There once was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair red and try and trick everyone into thinking that she was a redhead.

After she dyed her hair, she went for a drive to see if she could trick anyone.

She came across a sheep herder and his herd and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have in your herd, can I take one home?"

The sheep herder said, "Sure!"

The blonde proudly said, "There are 345 sheep."

The sheep herder exclaimed, "Wow! That is absolutely right, so go ahead and pick a sheep to take home."

The Blonde got out, got a sheep, and put it in her car.

The sheep herder said, "Now I have a deal for you. If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

New Summer's Resolutions

Never did do a new year resolution so I decided to just do a summer. Hopefully over the summer I will continue to do or accomplish all of the following.

1. Shower ever day (JUST KIDDING!!! I do shower every day) lol
2. Eat only one desert a week
3. Eat at least one fruit a day
4. Get at least 10 hours of sleep a night
5. Continue to lift weights every other day
6. Continue to read the Bible every day
7. Continue to work on jumping every other day
8. Run sprints every day
9. Practice basketball every day
10. Eat no veggies (joking, again)
11. Save up for and buy an iPad


1 Corinthians 10:25-26: Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it for a crown that will not last, we do it for a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly, I do not fight like a man beating the air, but I beat my body and make it my slave, so that I will not be disqualified for the prize. (no idea what version)

Sin

I haven't written anything serious for a while, so here we go. By the way, isn't that a great title? ;)

As christians we have to be careful not to fall into the trap that because Jesus has saved us, its ok for us to sin, and live like the world, or just use the excuse that nobody is perfect. Jude talks about that, in his chapter, I believe somewhere around verse 5-7 or so. In the Bible it says that unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and pharisees then my no means will you enter the kingdom of Heaven. The great thing, is the double transfer of Jesus's death. Not only are our sins transferred to Him but His righteousness is transferred to us. That is redemption. We are all in the process of being justified, this is a continuous action, that will continue until the rapture, of us becoming more like Christ. If you go to my sunday school (and didn't fall asleep) you would already know all about that...  

Poor Vikings, sadly its almost true...

Q. How do the Vikings count to 10?
A. 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10

Q. How do you keep a Viking out of your yard?
A. Put up goal posts!

Q. Where do you go in Minneapolis in case of a tornado?
A. To the Metrodome - there's never a touchdown!

Q. What do you call a Viking with a Super Bowl ring?
A. A thief!

Q. Why doesn't St. Paul have a professional football team?
A. Because then Minneapolis would want one!

Q. What's the difference between the Vikings and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar!

Q. How many Vikings does it take to win a SuperBowl?
A. Nobody knows!

Q. What do the Vikings and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!


Q. What do you call 50 guys sitting at home watching the play-offs?
A. The Vikings.

Same old, Daily Joke

I thought this was great...


Why did the runner quit the race against Bigfoot?

He couldn't face defeet!!

Listening/ Talking

Its happened to all of us, you are talking to someone, when someone else comes along and starts talking, giving no heed to you or what you have been trying to say. (that is what is so nice about this blog! You can't say anything until the end ;) ) Its very annoying and very rude, the Bible says to beware of the tongue for it is an instrument of sin. We should try to be better listeners and maybe not so much of a talker. Let me tell you, its fun to talk, have people hear you, and laugh (if its a joke) or just listen well, but there is not much more frustrating then trying to tell someone something and having others talking at the same time. Sometimes, I have discovered, that people will let their tongue talk, and not know what they are going to say next. Its happened to me, sometimes its funny, with the wrong people its very embarrassing and sometimes can cause permeant divisions in relationships. That is why I am trying to say to day, that if anyone talked half as much and listened twice as much they would that much wiser. You can not learn from what you are saying (most of the time) but if someone else is talking you learn. 

I have noticed at drivers ed (speaking of which, stay off the roads in late August early September) that many many many (just about all) the people there take God's name in vain in about one in every 3 sentences. It is very disturbing to have to hear that all the time (which is one reason I am glad I don't go to the public school system). 

Daily Joke/ Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

Happy Mothers Day!!!

Some of you know, I got up at 5:30 this morning to make breakfast for mom, now granted, most of the time she doesn't get up at 5:30 but it kinda gives you a sense of how much moms sacrifice for us... everyday. That is probably why there is a day dedicated to them. Anyway... HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!! (all moms and future moms) Guys, you are going to have to wait till june (I think that's fathers day)

Pearls Before Swine

This is great...

How to Train Your Dragon review

I thought I would put together something to show WHY I don't like the movie "How to Train Your Dragon" I like the story line, it has sweet animation, and funny lines, but unfortunately it is riddled with world views, most obvious is feminism. You are probably like "WHAT!!!" but its true, the men (sorry girls) are supposed to take initiative, but the main charter is basically portrayed as a wimp while the girl is really tough and good at fighting. She is always the one who wins, and beats up on poor whats-his-name. Beside, that is what is in almost every movie. They are kissing, (well actually SHE is kissing HIM) and not even either out of high school, or engaged. Also, there is some, not much, but some crude humor. Not a lot, but enough to make me not want to see it again.  So yeah, disagree with me if you want but I prefer to watch other more edifying movies. 

Evolution of a creationist

ok, so we were at small group at the poynts earlier tonight, and we watched a movie about evolutionism. More particualary about antievolutionism in animals. It was pretty awesome! The facts are way to blatent to not see, if you are a solid athiest and you watch this with an open mind, you have to see it just could not happen. People try to put a figure on the chance of it happening, well I can tell you RIGHT NOW, this earth did NOT evolve. I have always been a creationist, I can't remember ever doubting creation, but you can always learn more. Here are some examples from the movie...

• Bombardier Beetle
• Giraffe
• Woodpecker
• Australian Incubator Bird
• The Chicken Egg
• Platypus
• Black & Yellow Garden Spider
• Gecko & Chuckwalla Lizards
• Human Eye & Ear Drum

I will do a brief explanation of how they could not evolve...

Bombardier beetle: I don't know if you are familiar with this bug or not, just don't irritate it, it can spray a mixture of gases that are 212 degrees F. Now, when it "explodes" it mixes hydrogen peroxide and hydroquinone in a special chamber that is obviousaly not sensitive to heat. When the chemicals meet they react and explode sending a spray of boiling (lava) hot stuff into whatever is attacking it. Now, you see, if this mechanism did not all "evolve" at once, the poor bug would not be well off, it would explode when ever it tried to defend itself.  

Giraffe: When the giraffe is standing up, its long neck doesn't let blood reach its head very easily, so God gave the giraffe a very large heart, to pump blood way up there. However this can be a problem when the giraffe bends down to take a drink, sunddenly gravity is working with the pump and blood slams up to the head causing the brain to explode. Ok not really, what actually happens is special flaps (I don't know if that is the right word) close in the artrie and a sponge at the back of the brain stops the blood's momentum. Now if this didn't all come together at the same time, the giraffe would not live for very long. (It would live until it tried to get a drink) I found a web site that says this:

The fossil record shows that giraffes evolved from a deer-like ancestor with a shorter neck. By about 1 million years ago, modern giraffes had appeared on the African savannah. Why did the long neck evolve? Until recently, the most popular theory involved finding food. Giraffe-like animals who were born with longer-than-normal necks were thought to have a big feeding advantage, since in times of scarcity, they could reach higher into trees to forage for leaves. Longer-necked individuals were more successful at surviving, and passed their long-neck genes onto their offspring. Over many generations, the modern giraffe evolved.

I don't think that they even thought about how the neck evolved with out the brains being blasted totally away!

Ok, I just had to say this, if the long neck is really so useful, why the heck does only one creature have it!?!? I mean really, if it was so good as a weapon, and for getting food (and it is) why is there only one species that has it? 
just had to put that in...

Ok, switching gears, a small animal that most people just take for granted. 

the Woodpecker: People tend to look at the woodpecker as just another bird, well most birds don't bang their heads at trees all day. All birds have less dense bones, (helps to fly if you don't weigh as much) but the wood pecker has a thicker head bone per body-weight then ANY other animal (including humans) anywhere.  Ok, so maybe they just evolved to have a thicker head, well ok, what about before hand, they had to bang trees before the scull came or there would be no reason to evolve a scull, well the wood peck hits the trees (or what ever the peck at) with enough force to pop out their eyeballs!-- they shut there eyes each time they hit, or we would have blind birds running around-- which brings up yet another point, each time they hit, and they go REALLY fast, they open their eyes, focus on where they are going to hit, shut their eyes, and peck. And if that isn't enough, with out their spongy and dense tail feathers to help with three pronged support, they would fall off the tree with only one hit. One species of woodpecker--I forget the name, something to do with the british--has a toung (I can not spell that) that runs from the back of its throat, around its head and out the top of its mouth. Now what kind of animal did THAT evolve from??? 

Ok, for the sake of time (both yours and mine) I will jump down to the chicken egg:

When the egg is laid for 19 (exactly) days all that happens is the embryo eats the yolk, and breathes and dispels waste through little holes in the egg. When the egg is 19 days old things start to happen, the chick can no longer get enough air, and with its egg tooth it pecks its way to the air sack, (the little hole in the top of the egg, that you find in hard boiled eggs) then it has exactly 6 hours to get out, now most of us, even when grown up, after we have held our breath for a while would like to rest and breath for a little, the chick can not do that, it must peck through the shell and make a hole to breath through for the last few days. After that it opens the shell and wanders on out! If this did not work perfectly--down to the hour--every little chick would die, and we would no longer have any eggs for breakfast. Another evidence of design. 

Gecko: Now I am not talking about the cute gecko in the gieco commercials, this lizard has the unique ability to walk upside down on the celling and walls with out seeming to take notice of gravity.  Most of us can't do that (admit it) but then again, most of us don't have thousands of tiny hairs on our feet with suction cups that can only be seen at, I think, 36,000 times magnification that are so strong that if the gecko didn't have special ways of picking up his foot, he would be stuck. Now, first of all, HOW on EARTH did those tiny hairs EVOLVE??? and second of all, if they did, and the gecko didn't have special feet, he would be stuck where he stood (not a great defense against predators). 

The human ear and eye: You are probably like, ok so what, I have lived next to ears my whole life, they are pretty normal, but if you really think about them, they are REALLY weird. Now, the ear drum moves such a tiny amount its impossible to put a figure on it, but it has been said to only move HALF the diameter of a hydrogen atom, which, by the way, is pretty small. Now that tiny movement can pick up the difference in sound between a trumpet and drum, your mom and dad, and really anybody you meet, if you hear them for a while, you can recognize them just by their sound. The eye is very complex, very complex. Now, humans have been on this planet for thousands of years, but the best scientists have NEVER been able to come up with anything CLOSE to the eye for pictures, quality, and speed. I mean think about it, you are looking at your book, your mom calls, you look up, she is in focus that fast. The BEST camera man (or woman) takes a few seconds to adjust the camera lenses to that distance. That is amazing. 

I highly recomend that you go the the website at explorationflims.com or watch some of their moves on you-tube. Its truly amazing how complex our creator has made some animals, and what is funny, is it seems like some of them were made just to be weird. Its awesome! 

Daily Joke

ok, I just thought this was funny...

Q. Why did the traffic light turn red?

A. You would to if you had to change in the middle of the street

Daily Joke

In case you have not noticed these jokes arn't really "daily" but anyway...

Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high.

Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Tom will crack jokes.

The second 200 stories Dick will tell a happy story and lastly Harry will tell a sad story.They then started up the steps

After 2 hours it was Harry's turn. He turned to the other two and said "Ok guys, here's my sad story. I forgot the keys downstairs.

Daily Joke

Honorable Secretary of Agriculture
Washington, D.C.

Dear Sir;

My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells Iowa, received a check for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business next year.

What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all governmental policies. I would prefer not to raise razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I will just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs.

As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.

My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of the business. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was $422 in 1968, until this year when he got your check for $1000 for not raising hogs.

If I get $1000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2000 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $80,000 the first year. Then I can afford an airplane.

Now another thing, these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to feed the 4000 hogs I am not going to raise?

Also, I am considering the "not milking cows" business, so send me any information you have on that too.

In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be totally unemployed and plan to file for unemployment and food stamps.

Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election.

Sincerely Yours,

Sick

I happened to get sick today, probably something to do with 7 or less hours of sleep a night and poor consumption choices, but it reminded me of what sin brought. Its not fun to be sick, I can tell you that right now (just in-case you have never been sick) and I can't help but think of the day when we will be brought into glory, wouldn't it be awesome to be sick on that day? Suddenly all pain leaves and we are caught up to meet the LORD in the air! Well, yeah, it will be awesome... 

The best warning labels

I figured that it would be to much to read through all of those other warning labels, so I collected a list of my personal favorites... enjoy :D

"Some materials may irritate sensitive skin. Please look at the materials if you believe this may be the case.
Materials:
Covering: 100% Unknown.
Stuffing: 100% Unknown."
-- On a pillow.

"Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns.

"In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp.

"Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11.

"Optional modem required." -- On a computer software package.

"For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh.

Daily Joke

One day, Bill Clinton decided to go for a ride in his limo. He was tired of the city, so he told his limo driver to take him to the country.

They drove around for hours, and it soon became late. The driver was getting rather tired and found it difficult to keep his eyes open.

Suddenly, the limo hit a huge bump and the two men heard a terrible scream.

The limo driver stopped the car immediately to see what had happened. Bill Clinton soon got out of the car also, to investigate.

"What happened?!" asked Bill.

"I ran over a pig," replied his driver.

Bill Clinton looked horrified.
"Well go over to that farmhouse and tell them what you did. That pig could have been theirs."

So the driver walked over to the farmhouse and knocked on the door.
Bill Clinton waited in the limo for nearly 2 and a-half hours.

Finally, the limo driver came back and got back into the car. Bill Clinton, infuriated that his driver had left him alone for so long, demanded to know where he had been.

"Do you know how long you've been gone?! What happened up there?" he asked.

The limo driver, happily confused, replied, "Those people up there threw me a huge party."

Bill Clinton, confused himself, asked, "What? Why?"

The limo driver started up his car and answered, "I told them I was driving Bill Clinton around, and I ran over the pig.

Daily Joke

One day, President Obama visited an elementary school. All the kids were so excited to get to meet the President. He began to talk to them and asked them to define the word "tragedy."

"Well," one girl replied, "If my mommy ran over my dog, Rover, that would be a tragedy!"

The President smiled at the little girl and said, "No, sweetie. That would be an accident! Can anyone else give it a try?"

A little boy sitting across the room raised his hand and said, "I know! I know! If our bus driver ran off of a cliff and killed everyone!"

The President shook his head and said, "No son. That would be a great loss! Doesn't anyone know of a good example of a tragedy?"

A small girl raised her hand and said, "Well, Mr. President, if were in Air Force One and it was hit by a missile and blown to smithereens, most people would think that that was a tragedy!"

"Very good," he said. "And what was your reason for that answer?"

"Well," she said, "It would not be an accident and it sure would not be a great loss!"

Daily Joke

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class.
"In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative."

"However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up. "Yeah, right." 

Daily Joke

Tax day -- April 15 -- was looming when an elderly woman showed up at the IRS. She said she required a thick stack of tax forms. "Why so many?" the clerk asked.

"My son is stationed overseas," she said. "He asked me to pick up forms for the Marines on the base."

"You shouldn't have to do this," the clerk told her. "It's the base commander's job to make sure that his troops have access to the forms they need."

"I know," said the woman. "I'm the base commander's mother." 

Basketball

I was playing PIG with dad today and after I won (I had to put that in ;)) I was thinking, life is kinda like PIG, us vs God, we lose and we are lost, we win and we are saved. Unfortunately God can swish it from New York and the hoop is in Eau Claire. Then Jesus comes and takes the blame for our pathetic attempts and gives us His (the double transfer).

That is probably a poor analogy... :-o

Music

I started listening to hillsong on grooveshark today, I highly recomend all of their songs that I have listened to so far, especially "stronger", "mighty to save", and "my redeemer lives". Also "It is well" by kutless is good.

Daily Joke

Ok, sorry about the lame humor today, but this was the best I could find...

A warthog hits this lady and the husband calls 911.

The operator asks, "Where are you at"?

The husband replies, "I'm on Eucolipstic Road."

The operator asks, "Can you spell that for me?"

"Well... I'll just drag her over to Oak so you can you pick her up there?"

But seriously

     I don't like to say it, but I believe that most people in this world take Easter for granted, its a day full of cute stuffed (and marshmallow) bunnies and candy. Fortunately to us Easter means a little bit more; 2000some years ago (I don't want to do the math) Jesus died for our sins, and rose again. Its so easy to gloss over that, so let me say is again. 2000some years ago (I didn't wan't to do the math) Jesus DIED for OUR sins. Now most of us haven't been crucified but I can assure you its a very painful process. But if that were the end of the story we would too be dead. I don't know about you, but I don't know a whole lot of people who have been raised to life, and I know nobody who has raised their self to life. Jesus did. Its glorious news! We are called to proclaim it to the nations, shout it from the mountain tops, get outside our little comfortable bubbles of homeschoolers and Christians and proclaim the good news. Now it may be hard, I am few people I know can drive, much less live on their own, but it can be done. It doesn't need to be directly talking to some one, but just living like Jesus through your regular life, people will notice.
   
      To sum up I would just like to say three things:

1. Jesus died for YOUR sins
2. Jesus rose from the dead
3. You will too be raised from the dead, everyone will, there will be two types of people when that happens, saved and unsaved, and I fear that the second group will be far bigger.

Post Script,
Now granted, I don't know a whole lot about @#!*% , but it says in the Bible that they will wish themselves dead but won't be able to die, that is scary, eternity is a LONG time to be in constant torment, a very long time.

Daily Joke

Barrack Obama and Sarah Palin were sitting by each other on a plane. Obama thinking Palin was an Alaskan redneck thought he could make some easy money by tricking her into playing a game. 

He told her," If I ask you a question, and you don't know it, then you pay me five dollars. If I don't know one of your questions, I'll pay you FIVE HUNDRED dollars.

Palin agreed and Obama began the game by asking, "How many miles is it from the Sun to Jupiter?" 

Not knowing Palin paid him five dollars. 

Then Palin asked Obama," What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four? 

After long hours of researching and consulting everyone he knew... he finally gave up and paid the five hundred dollars to Palin.

Then Obama asked, "So...what's the answer. What goes up the hill with three legs and comes down with four? 

Palin handed him five dollars. :)

Only in America...

1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

5. Only in America... do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.